We’ve all had a hair-brained business decision that will suck all our money out the bank, destroy our sanity and leave us living in the street. But without a doubt, one of the worst business decisions you can ever make is to get married.
The divorce rate is actually going down after a ridiculous spike that took it beyond 50% in the 1980s. That’s partly down to more relaxed attitudes about living together, so we can find how poorly matched we are and call it quits before the lawyers get involved.
We’re also waiting longer to get married these days and some men credit their wife for putting them on the right track. So it does work, sometimes.
But there are lots of reasons to stay single when you take a step back from the romantic vision and analyze the cold hard truth that is a modern marriage. So, before you drop to one knee and potentially ruin the rest of your life, you should read this first.
1. Divorce rates are still scary high
There’s a lot of debate surrounding the actual precise numbers right now, but a recent University of Maryland study found the divorce rate is still 52.7%
As a point of reference, the odds of winning at Roulette if you bet on red or black are 47.4%. So would you walk into a casino and bet half your worldly goods on the spin of a wheel? If you wouldn’t take that gamble, then you might really want to think whether marriage is a good bet.
You’re essentially betting against the odds and allowing love to cloud your basic judgement. In betting terms it’s a total punt. If you’re not right on the money, then you might as well start splitting up your stuff.
2. Two-thirds of divorces are instigated by women
Even if there is trouble in paradise, men are pragmatists and will try to make the best of a bad situation. Women, though, empowered by the Yougogrrl philosophy of modern times, are more likely to consult a lawyer.
So, even if you want to make your marriage work, you might not get a choice in the matter.
The law is generally on the woman’s side and they know that you still have to foot the bill for them and your children until she has secured your replacement.
Some of them never do, officially anyway. That means you can be on the hook for alimony until the sweet kiss of death takes you from its grasp. So that makes marriage a bad business deal like no other. It can be a deal you simply cannot escape from.
3. Women are more likely to cheat, says science
You can play the role of dutiful provider and spend all the hours god sends feathering the nest, but a recent survey of 3000 women showed that they are likely to cheat.
Boredom and feeling underappreciated were cited as the main driving forces for cheating, but this is emotional reasoning and basically means women give themselves a free pass to cheat and then justify it afterwards.
So basically you agree to provide, be faithful and more, while she can more or less do what she likes. If it all goes South she can just move on and take half the money. So does marriage sound like a bad deal now? Spoiler alert, it is.
4. Prenuptial agreements don’t always work
Even if you do hold your ground and insist on a prenup, there’s no guarantee it will hold up in court if your then angry ex-wife decides to challenge the agreement.
Too many prenups have been overturned in court and a lot of them are just plain invalid. So make sure you have a watertight prenuptial agreement if you decide to go that route and don’t be guilt-tripped into abandoning the whole idea.
Also, if you really know in your heart that you need a contract to protect yourself from financial ruin when this all falls apart, should you really go into this business partnership in the first place?
Beware, this argument will be used against you as a ‘nuclear button’ if she’s the manipulative type.
5. If you leave, you pay. If she leaves, you pay…
Provided you’re a typical couple, where the man is the main breadwinner, then it doesn’t matter who dissolves the contract. All the penalty clauses are on your side and you’re on the hook.
Who would sign a deal like that? Who would willingly enter a business deal where all the exit penalties fall on one party?
It’s rare for a woman to go for a man that earns less than she does in any case. It goes against the basic dynamics of attraction and a high-earning and reasonably attractive woman will almost always date up.
In the rare event it does happen, then it isn’t entirely unheard of for a woman to take a career break just before filing for divorce. Guess what happens then? Yes, you pay…
6. Everybody changes and there’s no provision in the contract
You are not the same person you will be in 20 years. You won’t think the same, feel the same, look the same or act the same. Neither will she, but the First World has a decidedly backward approach to dealing with that.
In Latin America, there are Cabanas, love motels, for young couples and also meandering married people that just want a few hours of escape from their marriage. They do the business, go home and the partner turns a blind eye. It’s built into the culture.
In the First World, we hold some puritanical view that you can only be with your partner. But if you don’t want them anymore, that builds resentment, destroys the love and that can send you spiraling towards divorce.
7. Sex isn’t a right. It’s an optional extra
Not having sex has become a running joke among married men and there are so many henpecked husbands that are permanently in the friendzone that you should really do your research before you walk down the aisle.
I have heard of men that get it once a month, once a year or even not at all. The mad part is that you’re still not allowed to go and get it elsewhere. You’re just meant to give up on sex when she’s decided that it’s not on the table anymore.
So unless you want to figure out how to make a pocket pussy in the bathroom while your wife sleeps, marriage might just be a bad business deal. Even if you do, that’s kind of sad.
8. Hypergamy is really a thing
A woman used to get married and that was the end of looking around for something better. Not anymore. Now there is no shame in getting divorced and that means your new wife is free to size up your social and economic circle.
If something better comes along, then she might well choose to jump ship.
A woman is biologically engineered to seek the best mate. She invests far more of her physical resources into each child than a man does. So she’s preprogrammed to climb as high up the ladder as she can and give her offspring the best possible chance of survival and a good life.
As divorce is no longer a big deal, that search for the perfect mate doesn’t end with the marriage ceremony. So that’s why so many women will swing to another branch when they find a wealthier, more affluent option. It’s basic biological engineering.
Now I’m going to qualify this, because I think some Red Pill types have taken this to an irrational extreme and sound just as bad as the screeching feminists they decry.
Some women just aren’t like this. They have values like integrity and loyalty, which override this basic programming.
Find one of these and you’re good to go, marriage can be a great business deal with these women. Get a bad one and you won’t be the one, you’ll be a stepping stone.
9. You’re investing in a depreciating asset
Now this one is controversial and could get me slated by feminists around the world. So be it…
Men are largely visual creatures, we’re physically attracted to a girl and the rest falls into place around that. Not only that, if a woman’s role is to look great, be attractive and be a mother then she’s absolutely at her peak on your wedding day.
After that, she’s on the downward slide and she’s technically going to be worth much less in 20 years time.
A man, on the other hand, should increase his earnings, capital and stature during the course of the marriage. Yes, there’s a commensurate physical decline at some point, but it simply isn’t as sharp and his progress in other areas is basically the compensation.
If you don’t deliver that, see how long you stay married anyway…
There’s a famous response to a Craigslist ad from a girl that was trying to ‘marry up’, purportedly from an investor at JP Morgan Chase. The bank denied that the investor did anything other than forward the message, but it explains this whole point so beautifully that we’re just going to print it verbatim.
THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG’S LIST
What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy. I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 – 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
– Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics — bars, restaurants, gyms
– What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings
– Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?
– Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?
– Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows – lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
– How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults — I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them — in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
And the response….
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity… in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold… hence the rub… marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful” as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way. Classic “pump and dump.”
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.