This weekend I went out to my local bar and, in the end, things went well. You can generally score if you’re prepared to embrace rejection and not take it personally, but before I found my companion for the night I engaged in one of my favourite activities.
People watching can be awesome.
Don’t get caught on the sidelines, get in the game. But just taking a step back and watching how the rest of the world ‘does life’, can be fascinating sometimes.
It made me question the whole bar and nightclub culture if I’m honest.
Women have the power in clubs
I take some pride in the fact I can still score in a club now I’m pushing 40. But I also know there are easier, better ways to meet girls.
That’s because most clubs are basically a sausage party. There are almost always more men than women.
That means we’ve given up the power before we start. We’re competing for a limited resource, which always makes it more valuable.
That’s just maths.
Girls that on any objective scale are a 5 at best suddenly act like they’re a 10. They have choice and they can be selective.
That reduces us to dancing monkeys trying to get their attention. You can narrow the odds and there are plenty of tricks. But the best trick is not to play a rigged game.
It got me thinking and doing a bit of research and all the sites so far seem to recommend coffee shops and bookshops. What fucking planet are they on? Who goes into a bookshop anymore? When was the last time you pulled over a flat white?
So, I’m going to research these one by one, in depth, but for a quick start then here are 7 better places than a bar to meet girls.
1. A class
Ok so it’s major commitment to the bit, but take a class that interests you and it’s killing two birds with one stone. You’ll learn a new skill and you’ll get to meet people into the same stuff. The social proof is all there for you. You share an interest, you’re committed to bettering yourself and you literally have to talk to each other.
2. A sport
Not the gym. The gym sucks. Unless you are built like a tank, in which case you could find a live one in a morgue without trying too hard. No, we’re talking about a sport like tennis, martial arts, a running club, climbing, something like that. You’ll pair up with girls, you’ll talk to each other in the warm-up and it’s just a more social vibe than the gym.
If you go for martial arts then the likes of Muay Thai and MMA tend to be male dominated, so go for Krav Maga, Karate, Tae Kwan Do or something with a bit of self defence or finesse as part of the equation.
You might even learn some badass skills like this, which will help your overall confidence.
2. A hobby
Once again, it’s an evening or weekend class where you’ll all be together doing the same thing. Photography, painting, even hiking can be a great way to meet new people with the same sort of interests. Even if you don’t meet a great girl in the class, and the odds are slim, it will open up a new circle of people and they might just know someone that is ‘perfect’ for you.
3. Dog walking
Seriously, if you’re in the city then this one can be such a winner that you might even want to get a dog, or borrow one. If you’re in a rural area then forget it, it’s a bad plan, but in cities and towns everyone tends to walk their dogs in the same place.
So go along, let the dogs do the introduction for you and you can talk while the dogs play. Of course you can just do the Eddie Murphy trick and buy a lead, but I am not sure that works in the real world.
You could even get really creative with this one and go help at the dog shelter. Women will love you, you’ll get to play with some truly awesome dogs that deserve some company and you’ll probably meet some really big hearted and decent people at the same time.
It’s a win-win-win.
4. Clothes shops
This one takes some nerve, but fortune favours the brave. So go for it.
Just ask a woman’s opinion. You’re immediately telling her you value her input and every woman loves to think they’re a fashion guru at heart. So just pick up some stuff and say you’re changing your look, what do they think?
Honestly this is like a gold star technique and if nothing else it will help you hone your day game and engage in some casual flirting.
5. Art galleries/shows
Yes it might be outside your usual realm, but so what? Just get on the local gallery’s mailing list and give it a go. Step outside your comfort zone and you might be shocked at the joys you’ll find. You might even like art, but the main thing is you’ll meet a different kind of woman. You might find they’re a massive step up from the club chicks.
6. Comedy clubs
Everybody loves to laugh and if you go to a good show then the main act will have done the hard work for you and everybody is in a good mood. Sharing a laugh is one of those things that breaks the ice, so if there are some hot girls on the next table then you can involve them in your fun without too much trouble.
7. Business networking events
You don’t have to be self-employed to go to networking events, you can represent the company and even claim it back on expenses. This will then give you the chance to meet different people, you’ve got a perfect ice breaker and if there’s a spark then you can agree to discuss this more over dinner. Join the local Chamber of Commerce, check out their schedule of events and book yourself in. It’s that easy.
Got any more? We’d love to hear them in the comments below!