home Confidence, Social Skills, Uncategorised How to take revenge on a narcissist, an actual plan that worked…

How to take revenge on a narcissist, an actual plan that worked…

I wondered long and hard about this post, because I’m honestly going to advise you to do pretty much the opposite of what I did. The person I am now wouldn’t have tried to take revenge on my narcissistic ex.


The person I am now would have fired her into touch after about a month when she got weird and never given her a second thought.


But I also know that feeling, facing up to the fact that you have been used, pretty much humiliated by the person that looked you straight in the face and told you they cared so much. And just sometimes you need to get a modicum of revenge. You need to punish a narcissist.


Here’s the kicker: it’s really easy. When you stop caring what they think and you stop dancing to their tune, narcissists are really, really thick.


Narcissists can only kick you when you’re down


And here’s the reality check. You only ever get sucked in by a narcissist or a BPD girl when you have low self-esteem. I met mine after the most catastrophic, painful business failure. I was living in a shithole apartment, I was scraping money together to live and it was my lowest ebb.


I looked at her like an angel. She looked at me like easy pickings. I was the injured antelope on the edge of the herd. If you’ve fallen victim to a BPD girl, a narcissist, whatever flavor of nutjob you happened to pick up from the fruitcake bar, then you need to build yourself up.


If you’re strong, your self-esteem and your confidence are up to the job and you know you can do better, narcissists and BPD girls will just bounce off you. They simply won’t get the traction they need to make you hellbent on revenge. It just doesn’t get that far because narcissists are actually pitiful, useless creatures.


Their games are stuck at a grade-school level and anybody that’s even close to their peak will just laugh at them like the emotionally-stunted losers they are. Look up narcissists and you normally get stories of men, borderlines are girls, but honestly the two conditions are so massively intertwined that it generally doesn’t matter.


Shitty behavior is shitty behavior, you don’t need the absolute diagnosis and they more or less function the same way when it comes to wiping your ass with their life. If you’re dating a bitch who tries to manipulate you, pull the ripcord.


It doesn’t matter how hot they are physically, if they’re fucking awful people then you just shouldn’t give a shit about them. When a girl starts playing headgames, even if she isn’t a full-fledged psycho, then there’s no respect and it’s time to go. There’s also a real simple test you can do early on.

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Sign up, join me on this fun little journey, learn from my mistakes and you won’t fall for that shit ever again.


It can be fun to play with narcissists


Narcissists at work? I love playing with them, they’re so beautifully simple to wind up. In fact, think of narcissists in all walks of life as schoolyard bullies and you won’t go far wrong. They put on a big show because inside they’re vulnerable, broken little children.


So do any of the following to really screw with their heads:

  1. Show them they are wrong, publicly.
  2. When they go on about their great life and their knowledge of luxury/fine wines/5-star hotels/international business, be super interested and push for details. Most of the time it’s the life they wish they led and they really don’t have any deep knowledge.
  3. Dismiss them, cut them off mid-sentence to talk to someone else.
  4. Just stop listening, walk off when they’re talking.
  5. Praise someone else, for something you know they think they’re great at.


There are so many ways to piss off a narcissist that you really don’t have to try that hard.


But let’s say it’s really personal… Let’s say you’ve been taken for a sucker and suffered the full wrath of narcissistic abuse. Sometimes you need to balance the books with the narcissist to help you come back. I get that…


Arrogance is their undoing


A narcissist’s biggest weakness is their arrogance and their frankly idiotic belief that they can spin as many plates as they like in the air. The plate, in this instance, is you.


This belief makes them take insane risks, once they think they’ve really got you. Mine was secretly engaged to a guy that was away for long periods and managed a very complex on-off relationship with me that coincided with his times abroad.


Somewhere along the line it clicked. Something was off from the start, but I denied and minimized it. Then when she was heading off to see him, or he was coming back, there would be a big fight from nowhere. It really didn’t take much digging round to find what was going on.


Yours will always have a few irons in the fire, they just can’t cope with the idea of being alone and there’s always someone on the backburner. If you try, it shouldn’t be hard to figure out who it is.

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That said, think long and hard about whether you want to do this. In retrospect, I should have walked away. That’s what I’d tell anybody else to do in my shoes, but I didn’t. I decided to fuck her over and punish the narcissist.


How I took revenge on a narcissist


I just played dumb. This is the way they see you anyway. So I was stupid. My phone wasn’t working right and I couldn’t fix it, could we switch to Facebook messaging? I didn’t really need to do that, I could have just recorded the calls, but it was easier this way and once we’d started then it became the norm.


Then came stage two. I started to frustrate her, basically reversing the roles. I gave her just enough supply to keep her coming back but, for the most part, I gave her nothing. She wanted me to drive her to London, I gave her a very vague yes, then flaked at the last minute. I’d be nice to her one day, then ignored her for two because I was ‘busy’.


It threw her off balance, she knew her grip was slipping and it sent her on a massive charm offensive.


She sent me provocative pictures, she told me when we could spend some time together, I told her everything I was going to do to her and she let me know she loved it. Then she went for another big favor, and it felt like the right time.


I sent her the details of her husband, his Facebook page, the pictures of them together and I told her I was going to expose her. I showed her the screenshots, I showed her what she’d said in the heat of the moment, I showed her every single way she had done it all to herself.


What are a narcissist’s big fears?


A narcissist’s biggest fears are:

  1. Exposure
  2. Looking crazy
  3. Looking stupid
  4. Being manipulated
  5. Abandonment from a good source of narcissistic supply.


We had pretty much a full house here. But it wasn’t over yet.


I told her what was going to happen and she had a rage-fuelled meltdown over Facebook and email. She told me she didn’t give a shit what I said to him, she’d give me his phone number and I could talk to him. Even with her back to the wall, she wanted to direct and control. It’s just the way they’re wired.


I told her no, in good time, I’ll do it and I would publicly humiliate him, so he would have to publicly humiliate her.


You know what I did then? The killer blow?

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Absolutely nothing.


Let narcissists kill themselves


You see if I’d done it, he’d have dumped her, she’d have been angry but she’d have moved on to one of the back-ups she inevitably had in store. One of the predications of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or Borderline Personality Disorder, is that their relationship will fail. They know it, so swinging a chainsaw through her marriage really wouldn’t have been that big a deal. She’d get over it, fast.


But spending months, knowing that somebody else had the power over her life. Living constantly with the knowledge that she had manipulated herself into a corner. That was torture. Knowing that someone else could have an impact on their life from afar, any moment and expose them as weak, stupid and naïve, that preys upon a narcissist’s mind.


They’re paranoid, deeply suspicious people, because of the horrors that they perpetrate on others. That means you can plant a seed and it will ruin them.

My narcissist destroyed her life to take control


She took control the only way she could. She ran her engagement into the ground, Kamikaze-style, and they broke up within a couple of months. The only way she could re-establish herself as the master of her own destiny was to destroy everything she had.


So that’s how to really take revenge on a narcissist. Take their control away, let them know they’re at your mercy and then let them destroy themselves.


Would I recommend it? No, there’s no massive satisfaction and when you see it unfold then you realize just how messed up the person really is. They’re broken, they were beneath you to start with and they’ll be beneath you for the rest of their lives. They knew that, too, that’s why they tried to drag you down.


She hates me with all the passion in the world now. She was the architect of her own downfall, but she will hold a grudge until the day she dies. That’s one reason I waited until I moved 3000 miles away, but if you’re down the road then don’t think there isn’t a length they’ll go to in order to get even.


So if you even think you’re involved with a narcissist, or a borderline, cut them loose. They’re never worth the energy and the only way to really win is to not get involved.


But if you really do feel like you need a little payback and you want to hurt a narcissist, there’s a blueprint to start you off.


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One day journalist and copywriter Nick Hall looked in the mirror and wasn't happy where life had taken him. So he decided to get off his ass and do something about it, this is a journey back from the rut from Hell.He learned some valuable lessons along the way. Now he's passing them on to you.

15 thoughts on “How to take revenge on a narcissist, an actual plan that worked…

    1. No problem, but like I say I don’t recommend it. It’s really not as satisfying as you think it would be! 🙂 Good luck if you want to do it, but honestly the best place you can put the energy is into your own self improvement. Become like garlic to a vampire through your own self belief. That’s another cliche, but that one is so, so true.

  1. I just want to Thank You for your efforts to Help ppl identify & fly by (if they’re smart) these horrific ppl who feed on Us. I was savagely discarded and left broken with everything ripped away from the death grip i had on it trying to hold it together. A 3 yr divorce & no children, he was having the time of his life destroying me, my career & the financial stability i had in place. Standing ovation! However I am a survivor with some awesome intuition & Faith to rival the Pope’s. I now live in a 10ft “Hanson Love Bug” camper & travel around the US being Free & Happy! I hunker down for winter and am about to re embark on my travels. I enjoy your writing and it helps me understand a little better. Thanks

    1. Thanks for the kind words and I did the same, except for the winter part 🙂 I went travelling, I’m in the Dominican Republic now and it’s beautiful! I guess the hardest part for us to understand is that there are people out there who take pleasure in dismantling and hurting people. It’s sick in the extreme, but these people are out there. If I, or you, can save one person from dealing with these vampires then it’s a job well done!

  2. LOL I love the information you share with us although I would simply suggest to everyone not to take revenge on anyone especially a narcissist because they always play dirty and if you don’t have the malice to match hers you’re in for more drama in your life.
    One of our biggest advantages is knowing a narcissist is 100% predictable and this is why true friends and family are incredibly relieved the relationship is over regardless of how much pain you went thru after being discarded.
    Looking forward to your future posts!

  3. I Don’t think this article is our identical situation.

    I date a woman and mother who is saint.
    Her ex is beyond comprehension yet I know you all get it. It’s just that I’d never KNOWN people could be so evil. Constantly disowning then “claiming credit” for each of his kids. Condemning her all the while. I’ve seen the texts.

    Suffice to say he cheated, hence the divorce. Dirty magazines in view of kids,making loud sex in rooms next to them when they’d gone over.

    To make matters worse, jackhole works for ppg or somebody, travels all over, makes 200k a year.

    Talk about someone that DOESNT deserve a good life.

    His hurtful comments and calling her a rotten parent….I’m livid just thinking about it.
    It’s not fair that such behavior is allowed in this world. It TRULY should be a crime.
    Its not fair.

    I’ve never despised anyone more.

    Oh….early on in our relationship, it had come to my attention, he’d even peed on my truck while her and I were on her back deck.

    True story.

  4. I’m a young stepmother who has an older stepdaughter, my husband is elderly. My stepdaughter is a cerebral covert malignant Narcissist. I have a network of people who are supporting me and they’re validating and vindicating my experience of me being Narcissistically abused by her. I’m in the process of exposing her as a Narcissist to them. She came up to mine and my husband’s house earlier on today – Friday 16th June 2017 and she knocked at the front door, I answered it and I was stunned to see her there, I was taken by surprise, I didn’t expect her to come up to the house today, I was so shocked that I was speechless, I didn’t say anything at all, I didn’t speak and I reacted by quickly shutting the front door in her face and quickly locking the front door, she knocked a few times after that and then she left the neighbourhood after that. I do see it as a form of revenge because years ago she was at our house and she shut the front door in my face and quickly locked the front door, locking me out, she locked both herself and my husband in inside the house. Today after shutting the front door in her face and quickly locking her out of the house, after that happened, she kept on knocking on the front door, but I ignored her and the front door wasn’t answered/opened to her and then she left. I also see it as karma ” what goes around, comes around ” because I did to her exactly what she did to me. Abit later on I informed someone about it and the person told me that my stepdaughter really did deserve it because she has verbally, mentally, emotionally abused me, spiritually shredded me, attempted to physically assault me, ambient abuse on me, abuse by proxy on me, did gaslighting, triangulation, projection on me, stole my personal possessions which are of high sentimental value to me and much more than that to me. So she really did deserve it after the way she has treated me in the past over the years. This person said to me that my stepdaughter did deserve it because of the way she treated me and that my stepdaughter is a horrible person and I very strongly agree with what this person said about my stepdaughter to me. My stepdaughter is the Devil Incarnate herself. This person said to me that I was strong (emotionally strong) for the way that I reacted in that situation, for the way I handled the situation and that I was able to take control of the situation and put the situation under my control. She probably didn’t anticipate what I was or wasn’t going to do, so I may have come across as unpredictable to her. She probably didn’t expect me to answer the front door to her. I probably took her by surprise. Both me and this other person find it hilarious, we’re both laughing and giggling in hysterics and in mockery at my stepdaughter – laughing at my stepdaughter. I live in Southern U.K

  5. So my ex talked me into quitting my job and being a stay at home mom. He always talked to other women and was always on dating sites. I have every email, text message, I even have video recordings of what he was up to. Now he’s moved on and I’m stuck paying bills that he let lapse because of a new job he took while we were together. I would LOVE to out him and get these bills he promised to pay taken care of. Any suggestions?

    1. Well you have everything, so just offer to send it to the new person in his life. That should be all it takes to get the bills paid. Then, once you’ve got that, you can send all the information anyway!

  6. brilliant article…fortunately I have only been with this narcissist for 3 months and I cannot explain the disgusting feeling, predictions of humiliation I saw coming but couldn’t understand how or why I felt this…until it happened. Weirdly enough he confessed about the other women in his life because he thought the lies were too much for him to carry but when I went away for the weekend and came back and he didn’t even ask me how it went something inside said get the f out as it made me feel so cheap and horrible. Now, because of mutual creative interests I said I would stay friends…but really would like to teach him a lesson. The saving grace for me was finding so much information about these kind of characters as up until now I have never heard of the concept of gaslighting and narcissist in this way. I felt such a sense of relief realising what I was dealing with, unfortunately, it has also highlighted to me that a few of my so called friends are like this…and now I think most people are…weird. Thank you for this article it is very uplifting!

    1. Thanks for the kind words. I agree Narcissism is on the up and I just found new research that backs it up, which will be a new post. They are everywhere, so rather than focus on one narcissist, you should probably take that time and use it to build up your own boundaries so the rest of them bounce off. It’s what I’ve done, I’ve seen a lot since and now they just leave me alone. I’m not good food for them anymore and if you learn your lessons well, you won’t be either.

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