We have all fallen for this one at some point in our lives. We think because a girl can’t get enough of us on the phone or messenger that it’s a matter of time before they’re naked beside us. But it doesn’t always follow.
In fact, the more time you spend on messenger and chatting like a girl on the phone, the less chance you have of actually scoring. The reasons are long, complex and occasionally contradictory, but it’s just the way it is. So if you want a system and you want to play the numbers game, then the best thing you can do is stay off chat and just use the phone to organize real dates.
Never ask a girl out by SMS
By the way, you need to pick up a phone to set a date. A text or IM reeks of weakness. So, when you get in touch, do it on the phone or you look like a pussy and more often than not she’ll blow you off with an excuse. That said, setting dates should be the only phone calls you make.
Let her chase the rest of the time.
Some girls will phone you 20 times a day just to say hi, but if you indulge them then you’ll slowly kill their attraction. For a start she’ll know every last, boring detail of your life as you tell her what you did each and every day. You’ll lose any sense of mystery and that’s a huge turn-off for most women.
Limit your availability with Voicemail
Just don’t be available all the time. Whatever you do, though, don’t chat on the phone like one of her asexual girlfriends. Because in the end, that’s what you’ll become.
Endless conversations can lead to saying the ‘wrong thing’, too, and causing friction where you just don’t need to. So yeah, the more time you’re on the phone, the bigger the chance you’ll put your foot in your mouth. It’s a cynical thought, but it tends to be the truth.
Girls love to talk, so if she knows you’ll listen then she’ll phone you until she’s emotionally drained. But you don’t want that job, leave it to her girls to work it out among themselves. So, if a phone call goes too long, then just tell her you’ve got stuff to do and you’ve got to go.
Show her you value your time
It shows you value your time and you’ve got things to do with it. These are good things and can only show you in a positive light to an even semi decent woman.
That approach also maintains a sense of mystery, keeps her guessing, makes sure you’re not constantly available and it also means you can just pick up the phone, organize your next physical date and get on with your life.
It depends what stage of ‘the game’ you’re at, but this is a strategy that works on a number of levels.
Five benefits of staying off the phone
1. It keeps her keen
If she doesn’t think she’s got you 100% by the balls, she’ll keep working for your attention.
2. It gives you time to focus on your own life.
It’s bad form to let a woman take over your life for a phone call. For one it shows you’re a bit weak and you don’t have much else going on. Secondly it shows you’re prepared to put your life on hold to listen to her life in minute detail.
You should focus on your own mission in life. Normally that’s your job or business and they should mean you are too busy to spend hours on the phone. She’ll notice that, too, and phone less. That, inevitably, will up your attraction a point or two without putting in any work.
3. It saves you becoming the emotional tampon
She’ll either lose attraction after venting all over you for hours at a time, or she’ll develop a deeper emotional bond. That can be a good or bad thing, depending on your viewpoint.
Normally, though, it’s anathema for attraction and spending too long on the phone and chasing are serious turn-offs in most cases. If you’re playing the numbers, phone to set up a date then get off the thing.
4. It maintains a sense of mystery and distance
It shows you’ve got other things going on in your life and you aren’t at her beck and call. So, send a few calls to voicemail if she’s a bit trigger happy with the call button. If she’s not, answer, keep it pretty short and sweet and get off the phone.
5. It gives you time to run preliminary game on other women
There are only so many hours in the day, so if you don’t want to tie yourself down then you need to give yourself the time and breathing space to look around and see what’s out there.