Last month I ‘lost’ a girl I have been seeing, or to put it a better way we simply drifted out of touch. That’s because she’d been dropping some pretty heavy hints about needing lots of money and wanting a lot of nice things.
I politely declined the generous offer to become her walking, talking ATM. So, she walked. Last week, she turned up like nothing had happened and everything was perfect…
If another guy wants to buy her, let him…
There was another guy in the background, which is par for the course here, and he was willing to throw money at her. She thought she had leverage, she weighed up her options and decided that was a sweeter deal. It kind of proves that even women don’t really know what they want.
She doesn’t get it and neither does the other guy.
He thinks he can lavish cash on this poor little island girl and buy her heart. There are a lot of guys that send money over here and think that’s all it takes to keep the girl out of another man’s bed. It’s one thing to be a sugar daddy and buy your way into a young girl’s pants, but don’t think you’ll ever get more than a transaction doing business this way.
He visited for a week, spent outrageous money on her and then returned home to Switzerland to send her more by Western Union. He is literally a Western Union Papi, which is a derogatory term for deluded men that send money to young girls around the world and then visit for week every few months. The rest of the time, they think their sweet and innocent little girl is tucked up with a book.
Western Union Papis are paying to be a cuckold
But what those guys don’t know is that as soon as they’re home from the WU office and they’ve finished the Skype call, they’re hitting up guys like me for the weekend fun. That’s Alfa fux and beta bux in action, right there in front of your face.
She made it hard for me, she tested and she pushed it to the point of walking away. But I told her there was literally no way I was going to buy her. She tested the other guy and he folded like a pack of cards.
I saw them together. It’s a small town here and it’s hard to keep out of each other’s way. She had new hair, new clothes, a new phone and probably a house full of stuff, but her body language was awful. There was no connection, nothing going on. He was just another provider.
He probably knew she had options, so he did what he could to ‘win’ her. But the human mind simply does not work that way.
Buying a girl says you’re not good enough
What he actually communicated was that he was not good enough on his own and he felt the need to spend money. The only thing he could do was buy her affection and in that moment, with that one decision, he turned himself into an exploitable resource.
Spending money on a girl is both controlling and an expression of insecurity, which will likely get you friendzoned, manipulated and rejected in the end. It’s a sign of inequality, a sign that you really don’t believe you deserve her on merit and you will lose her if you go this route.
Wait to buy a girl big gifts
You just cannot buy a woman’s love. She feels an attraction for you or she doesn’t and all the money in the world is not going to change that. So don’t buy her gifts, don’t take her on lavish shopping trips and don’t take her to a five-star resort until you are really, firmly, an item.
She’ll see straight through it, she’ll feel pressured and it can actually turn her off. That’s especially true when they have a guy who just doesn’t do it as an option. He values himself enough to know that if she doesn’t want to spend time with him then all the flowers, clothes and cars in the world aren’t going to affect that. She’s into you or she’s not and if she’s not then it’s a simple case of moving her out of the way for somebody better.
This is the healthy approach. It’s a sign of a man with options, who hasn’t pinned his happiness on one girl and isn’t so scared to lose her that he’s prepared to compromise his principles. He won’t bow his head and supplicate himself to keep her happy.
This is a true man, the guy that buys the gifts and sends money is really the little bitch in this equation.
I won by not playing the game
I refused to play her game. I only know because I have done it before and failed, but this time I knew the right response. I met her constant requests with firm boundaries, told her I had no interest in buying her love and if she wanted to keep going then I would get her a cab home.
She played the game, she left, but that simple show of strength and indifference was enough to bring her back. She’s not even the main squeeze anymore, she’s willfully slotted into a rotation after losing her power play. She’s got the Beta Bux provider, I’m treating her like a plate and she’s going along for the ride.
The other guy is still sending her Western Union payments and she’s still sending him little hearts and sweet messages. And she’s doing it on the phone he bought her, while naked in my bed…